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15: 50 (30-29) mistakes of the fledgling fiction writer.

02 Friday May 2014

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30-29: The countdown continues to the biggest blunders−to help you avoid them.

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When I finished University, before I went off Teacher Training I fitted kitchens for a year with my cousin (and read a lot of books). We did one job at a very large B&Q showroom (a British DIY chain). It was my job to tile and grout 26 show kitchens. In this particular store in the staff toilets was a large full-length mirror with the company design and logo running around it. At the top it had a large signage that reminded you, as if you needed reminding: ‘This is how the customer sees you.’ To which I normally stuck two fingers up−none of us like authority, especially supercilious annoying authority!  At the side it had a ridiculous aphorism: ‘Fail to plan, plan to fail.’ I always wondered what strategic planning the staff should be undertaking while in the lavatory. What scenarios they might be running through their heads as a more efficient response to customer enquiries. “Do you have a size 6 sprocket drilling gizmonator spring-loaded recess valve?” “Yes, Isle 4, section 3, bottom shelf!” [Response time 0.18 seconds−a record!]

However ridiculous the aphorism was, and however much we might kick against the idea of been told what to do, it is true, even if someone says it to you, and you have the overwhelming desire to punch them in the face. If you haven’t already, you are about to undertake a massive task−writing your first book, it takes a lot of meticulous planning, if you think it doesn’t, you are deluding yourself. That is before you have read many books and learnt lots of the craft. Let’s carry on the countdown…

 

30 Lack of planning: Rambling, not tight enough writing (and planning). You will occasionally hear experienced writers saying that they do not plan their books; they have a basic premise and story line. “I love writing so much because when I sit down to write I have no idea where the characters and story will take me. I become lost in the words.” I suspect two things when I hear or read such comments, firstly their writing will not be as good as it could be, and secondly, they belong to an older generation of writers. I couldn’t do that, nearly all writers don’t do that, and you shouldn’t do that either. If you do your book will ramble, be longer than it needs to be−less is definitely more. Write an outline of the entire story, and then break it down into chapters. If the story moves through time, draw a timeline and mark on all significant events. Remember words should be used sparingly and any waffle and spuriousness needs cutting out. Of course ideas and improvements will occur as you are writing, but adhere to what each chapter is supposed to achieve. Try hard to leave the reader wanting to read on. It sounds like simple common sense, but it is amazing how many people don’t do it.

 

29 Formulate characters and motivations beforehand: There are two main aspects of your book that the will linger with the reader−the slow burn. That is the narrative; even now you remember the story outline of the children’s books you loved/love. You ask any child or grown-up: ‘What happens in Dickens’ A Christmas Carol?’ They will be able to tell you, in quite a lot of detail. For two reasons, the story and the aspects of it are one of the best story lines of all time, and the other is because of brilliant characters, that form almost instantly. If you don’t know the meaning of redemption before you ever encounter this work, you do by the end.

 

Have your characters formed before you start. They may evolve slightly, but ask yourself, what are the characters; goals (might be abstract); motivations; conflicts (that might stop them reaching their goals); epiphany or arc; why should I love this person – Or if you are really brave, why should I hate this person and want them to fail! Does the main protagonist/s have flaws, or even a fatal flaw (hamartia). When you have done that write a one or two page summary of each of the characters story line. Your characters, especially main protagonist, and possibly antagonist are paramount for the success of your novel. This is essential, and even more so if you are going to write a sequel/s. You will forget the birthdays/wedding date/anniversaries/schools attended/names of friends and relatives/likes/dislikes etc. I always do this on a set pro-forma for each main character. If you would like to have a look at the one I use, contact me.

 

After two weeks working at B&Q, the last four days constantly grouting and looking as though I had just emerged from a cement mixer situated at the end of a worm-hole−‘wax on, wax bloody off!’ The manager said to my cousin.

“The tiling monkey’s done a good job.”

“Oh, he’s not really a tiling monkey; he’s just doing this until he goes off to train to be a Teacher.”

“Yeah, right.”

“No he is, he’s bright. Ian come over here, we want a word with you.”

I walked over and my cousin reiterated the conversation for my benefit. I looked at the manager, who I had fermented a mild distain towards over half a month and replied.

“Ooh-ooh-aah-aah-ah”, and then walked off to look at myself in the mirror. I didn’t give a monkey’s cuss how the customer saw me! I’d served my time.

When you are a writer every new first-hand experience is a valuable opportunity to learn something valuable−more grist for the mill… but some experiences don’t have to be repeated!

 

@thewritingIMP   www.ianmpindar.com

Ian M Pindar’s latest books, under his real name are: ‘Hoofing It’ and ‘Hoofed,’ the first and second novels in The Robert Knight Series and are on special offer http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Ian+M+Pindar . He has another three novels out this year.

 

12: 50 mistakes of the fledgling fiction writer.

03 Thursday Apr 2014

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39-37: The countdown continues to the biggest blunders.

Eats, Shoots & Leaves–this is not only the punch-line to a rude Panda/dictionary joke, it is also the title of the Lynne Truss book that was once immensely popular both sides of the Big Pond. It was obviously a shot aimed across the bows of incorrect grammar. She will be probably weeping over a decade on, as social media attacks grammar like necrotising fasciitis on crack. A friend was telling me recently of a relatively able pupil who wrote ‘b4’ in a piece of final GCSE coursework! I hope Micky Gove isn’t reading this, our very own P G Woodhouse/Alan Partridge/Dr Strangelove Education of State; he will have the Grammar Stasi wiring pupils’ eyes open like Alex in A Clockwork orange!  

I mention grammar here as some Grammarians would have the possessive apostrophe at the top of the mountain like Christ the Redditeemer in Rio …

39. Possessive apostrophes:  The ‘PA’ is the reason why greengrocers’ shops are reluctant to open! It might seem quite trivial in the scheme of other major things but it might be useful to know if an angry crowd are going to attack you−whether just one of them has a pitchfork or all of them? I suspect there may be a room at the NSA that monitors such grammatical crimes against humanity:

 “This individual threatening ‘The Homeland’ is woefully unaware how many greengrocers own the shop.”

“That is no excuse Operative Grammarnoid.”

“We have just waterboarded him moments before Sir. There is a possibility it could have impaired his apostrophe placement judgement?”

“Still no excuse for poor grammar−lose his file Grammarnoid, when Amnesty International are on their lunch break.”

“ ‘Is’ or ‘are’ on their lunch break Sir?”

“Would you like to test the new electrodes Grammarnoid?”

This seems a good enough reason for the Grammar Stasi to incarcerate people. It could also be used as a test for drunkenness by Highway Patrol Officers, as it’s just the same level of complexity as recounting the alphabet backwards or counting back in 7’s from 100!

Is there one greengrocer in the shop or several working as a co-operative next to each other?, that will answer the possessive apostrophe conundrum. There are simple rules to the ‘PA’ that if you don’t know, once you start writing, you will, as someone will point them out!

38 Overuse of exclamation marks (dashes, ellipsis & semicolons). What is an exclamation mark trying to achieve; shock, expletive, interjection, implied amused humour? Use them sparingly, overuse will grate on people and render them less effective when you want to create a more dramatic point−if in doubt, take them out. You may want to use them to show that the first person narrator is over-excitable or immature, but think carefully!

On a similar vein be sparing with dashes and ellipsis. A dash can be very useful to connect two independent clauses: The Grammarians arrived−they seldom shared smiles. Used to emphasis an emotion: “I love The Grammar Stasi−we were in the same class at school”, and in interrupted speech:

“I really can’t stand the Grammar St−”

“Can’t stand not to have them listening in and correcting any outrageous errors we may make Agent Grammaroid.”

“Yes, Sir, that’s exactly what I was going to say.”

A dash can also be valuable in a piece of first POV narration to reduce the number of the ‘I’ pronoun and therefore repetition.

Ellipsis are also useful in direct speech to indicate a pause without having to describe it:

“Don’t you just feel like some days you want to get a big bucket of Tipp-Ex and paint out all the possessive apostrophes, Sir?”

“…No I do not Agent Grammaroid.”

The ellipsis could go at the end of the first piece of direct speech, but it has a more dramatic effect to give the dramatic pause to the authority figure.

Semicolons are falling out of fashion. You often see contemporary realism authors ignoring them all together. I see a time when they will disappear; if I live long enough! Language is fluid innit?

37. Getting as many opinions as you can find. For every five people that say they will read your manuscript, I will wager only one will manage to get to the end–that is not because it might not be good or great, but because we all have busy lives’. Reading a book requires dedication, one of your major rewards for being educated and having a concentration span is the ability to read a novel. I have talked about the three most common started and never finished novels (Ulysses, Catch 22 and Moby Dick–oh you’ve read that have you, but would you have if you weren’t made to read it at school?). Here’s the other problem, people start and like you your book, but don’t finish it. Ask as many people as possible and gently poke them frequently (stop giggling–you’re supposed to be a grown-up). Value everyone’s opinion, even if they are not a fully paid up member of the literati, they may still point out aspects you have not considered as fully as you maybe should have. Such as text and asides that slow the flow or parts that are obvious to you, but not the reader: “Oh I must have missed that!” Ultimately it is you that has to make the final decision, especially if you are trying to be brave and deviate from the more formulaic, but you would be foolish not to take on board the advice of somebody who knows more than you do.  What all this often boils down to is time and patience−you want to hold your book in your hand and dance around with it–but try and avoid the quick-step–what would Master Po say?

When I left my teaching job a friend gave me a card that read: “Take your time. To be in a hurry is to kill your talent. If you wish to reach the sun it isn’t enough to jump impulsively into the air.” –Peter Ustinov. She had read a first draft of one of my books, it was one of the best pieces of wisdom I have ever been given–“Patience truly is a virtue.” You don’t have to be Master Po to know this Grasshoppers!

Next week there will be no blog as I’m going to Saint Tropez on holiday (get me!)–I have a carefully designed topless swimsuit and I will be talking like Sacha Distel. If it makes you feel any better we are in a caravan!

@thewritingIMP   www.ianmpindar.com

 

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Both my latest books: ‘Hoofing It’ and ‘Hoofed,’ the first and second novels in The Robert Knight Series and are FREE on Amazon Kindle on the weekend 19-21 April. YES FREE!

10: 50 mistakes of the fledgling fiction writer.

21 Friday Mar 2014

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48-43: The countdown continues to the biggest blunders.

Some of the next ones are going to sound petty. Feel free to moan−no one is listening! –that internal monologue may keep you company. What the fledgling may find pretty and trivial are the golden ones, that The Grammar Stasi often judge you by, they are more tangible and less subjective, and like the now disbanded East German secret police (If you have never seen The Lives of Others, which won the Oscar for best Foreign film in 2006 – that has to be your homework) both have and had a lot of members, but the ‘GS’ are difficult to spot except by their native call normally in quite populated areas (The Common Greater Spotted GS) or just as common, but rarer to observe, the Lesser Spotted Writing GS−these can only be seen on lines on the page and screen.

48. Contractions of words and hyphenated words. Make sure you get the word right. All right vs alright. It should technically be ‘all right’ but it is now acceptable to use ‘alright’. I sometimes use ‘all right’ in formal writing and ‘alright’ in direct speech. ‘No one’ is the correct spelling, but ‘no-one’ is creeping in. There are lots.

Whether to hyphenate or not depends on many factors, but remember we are doing this to add clarity to our work, making it easier for the reader. ‘Re-cover’ is completely different to ‘recover’ and ‘re-creation’ to recreation’. With nearly all literature we can give them long fancy names but they are quite straightforward, using the right word and consistency is the key. This is a good website to look at for more information http://www.dailywritingtips.com/10-types-of-hyphenation-errors/

47. Contractions in direct speech (and first person narration). When people speak they are generally lazy, they contract a word/words and often run them into one another. If you are meeting the Queen to get an Honour, say for example: ‘Order of the Protection of the Empire against Undesirables’, you might use clipped received (might need a hyphen?) English−How old fashioned these seem now?, imagine in this day and age getting an honour that represents a long gone empire! When people talk normally they use ‘can’t’ instead of’ cannot’, ‘wouldn’t’, not, ‘would not’ etc. Make your direct speech realistic, set the right tone. The grey area is when you are writing in the first person and you want to convey a greater stream of consciousness or speed the prose up, you may wish to contract words to do this. Again it is about consistency, but you might want to speed one part up and slow another down for dramatic effect?

An omniscient narrator might use contractions as well as slang and dialect. In Russ Litten’s interesting book, ‘Scream if you want to go faster’ he uses an omniscient narrator that talks in a local Hull (a large English City and the European City of Culture in 2017) accent. I found this quite compelling and for me the best part of the book, but not all do, but then again I grew up there before my banishment outside the Old City walls (the location of the first battle of The English Civil War). You obviously notice these ‘voices’ more when they are colloquial. Some are hard work and require a bit of getting used to, but some work exceptionally well: Catcher in the Rye and Huckleberry Finn (Vernon God Little imitates from here) are two that spring to mind.

46. To capitalise or not? This may seem obvious−if it is a proper noun it has a capital letter. Remember at school the teacher often said, “If it is a title it should have a capital letter.” Unless it is an article: e.g. a, the; co-ordinating conjunction: e.g. but, nor, or a preposition fewer than five letters, e.g. on, at, from. ‘Scream if you want to go faster’ is a title that does not follow these rules. Should ‘teacher’ have a capital or not?, it is a job title, the key again is consistency. The difficulty comes when you look it up and there is still not consistency on the inter-web, get a dictionary out then, but the inter-web is now saying the new form is acceptable. Go with your gut instinct and don’t blink. Animals can be difficult−my editor and proofer often don’t know the answer! Give your chapter headings capital letters. But then do you put a full stop at the end? I don’t bother, again for consistency. This may again sound trivial, but when you first start out you will be flicking through books to see what the convention is.

45. It’s/its: A common mistake It’s is a contraction of it is (and it has). If you cannot expand it’s to ‘it is’ it be wrong.

Its is a possessive pronoun meaning ‘of it’ or, ‘belonging to it.’

44. Chapter headings giving the whole story away: I recently looked at very long pre-published manuscript at a writers’ group. I quickly summarised the narrative even though I had not read the novel−it had over forty chapters. They thought I had acquired magical skills, I had simply read the chapter titles and it was more than evident what would/does transpire. Be careful not to give your entire narrative away as a flash story.

On a similar note if your acknowledgements are going to reveal far too much, stick them at the end. ‘Many thanks to Acme Funeral Services for help with the embalming technicalities in chapter 7.’  Consider rephrasing if you want them at the start.

43. Not reading enough of the genre you are writing. See how established writers have crafted. You will have to do this anyway when you start off, don’t start writing until you’ve read lots: “Writers read, simple as.” A useful technique is to watch a film and ask yourself how the author did that in the book? (If in fact they did?) How did they describe that? How did they construct the dialogue at a tense moment? How much emotion and internal dialogue was exposed?, etc. You don’t even have to read the entire novel, find the relevant section. I will talk more about what these areas are later, but you will be asking yourself lots of questions, at least you should be: ‘What narrator to use?’ ‘What POV to use?’ etc, etc. I talked about this partly in blog 3: What should I do before I start? Will passively reading do it?

Remember your homework! − ‘The Lives of Others’ it will keep you gripped like a good book and will also teach you a thing or two about writing. We could even discuss empathy?

Until next time fledglings, hawks and CCTVs.

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@thewritingIMP   www.ianmpindar.com

Ian M Pindar’s latest books, under his real name are: ‘Hoofing It’ and ‘Hoofed,’ the first and second novels in The Robert Knight Series and are on special offer. He has another three novels out this year. 

6: To thine own self be true: The Confessions of an English self Publisher.

21 Friday Feb 2014

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You have to sell yourself−even if you get a publishing deal, you will have to do this anyway, and lots of it. As you are waiting for those rejection letters you need to start down the other path−self publishing. It is no longer just a vanity project; it is a legitimate way into a publishing deal. If you have managed to get thousands of people to like, potentially read, read, write reviews−you already have an audience.

Self-publishing is not a new innovation Laurence Sterne−Tristram Shandy (1759), The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by Frank L Baum (1900). More recently Wool by Hugh Howey (2011) and you may have heard of the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy by E.L. James! − Which has now sold more copies on Amazon than Harry Potter! The list is endless and one thing is for certain, if you don’t get it out there to the world to see, you have no chance.

Remember whatever self-publisher you use, you own the rights. So which one should you use? The obvious elephant in the room is Amazon, and I know a lot of people, especially in Britain don’t like to buy anything from Amazon, not even a Will I Am facemask or illuminating Halloween socks−but they are biggest platform and potentially give you a larger market. Their publishing arm, CreateSpace is relatively straightforward to use. You can do it yourself, or you pay them to do it in-house. I have used them twice and intend to use them at least one more time. Rather than get them to do it−I could have quite easily done it myself, I pay a friend, as it saves me huge amounts of time. If you are on a tight budget and you intend to put lots of work out, spend the time learning. One drawback for many people outside the US is an ITIN (International Tax Identification Number). You need this from The IRS or you will pay tax there and in your home country. To get this you need to send your passport off, and it can take 4-6 weeks, so you don’t want to be doing this when you are going abroad on holiday−Do this before your book is completely ready. I always produce hard copies and turn these into ebooks, you might only want the latter.

You decide what contract you sign. I won’t go into all these, but they are quite straightforward. You obviously do not have to use Amazon, there are many others out there. Some of the ones I have heard good reports about are; Smashwords and Lulu. Others include Blurb and Authorhouse. A long time ago when I had very heavy work commitments I used Xlibris. Personally I found them expensive−remember everything you get them to do will cost you, including changing a few typos that were pointed out to me by readers. I also found they hassled me with phone calls a lot, to the stage I pretended to be out!

Googlebooks is on the rise and has fewer books listed than Amazon, so a search is more likely to find your book, but obviously not as much traffic as the Amazon Behemoth. 

I could go into a lot more detail, but to be honest it’s a bit boring and trainspottery−You’ve got the idea, it just boils down to some research and finding what best fits you. Ask yourself ultimately what is your aim? That will determine to large extent which is the best fit.

If you have written your book and you are happy with it, get it out there. I read some research the other day that said 95% of people that self-publish feel a sense of pride and achievement for getting to the final stage. Even if down the line you are not 100% happy, like Philip Pullman with his first book, you can always take it down and revamp it. At some point you do need to let it go and get it out because a book is never finished, Henry James is testament to that… But, holding it in your hand, smelling it, touching it, taking it to bed−might just be the inspiration you need to climb the next mountain!

Next week: 7: Social media: ask it to be your friend.

 

@thewritingIMP  www.ianmpindar.com

Ian M Pindar has just published the first two novels in The Robert Knight trilogy. The third: The Space Between the Notes will be out in the Summer along with another two novels this year.  

5: What is the best route to take? Traditional, or self-publish.

14 Friday Feb 2014

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18 Are the bears catholic small

The simple answer is the traditional one. Unfortunately that is very difficult these days. Unless you are exceptionally talented and/or famous, breast augmentation has worked for some–how much do you want to suffer for your art? Remember JK Rowling was rejected by the first 12 publishers and Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight, 14, both quite recently. “I recommend that it be buried under a stone for a thousand years.” Was what Nabokov was told by one publisher when he submitted Lolita! All the way up to a Guinness Book record for Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance with 121. My favourite is Lord of the Flies (21). So you can see two main points here, taste, even in so-called-professional-precognitionists can be very subjective. Imagine if you could foresee two of the most popular books in Britain a few years ago being about a hundred year old gezzer that goes out of the window and sado-masochism! –the zeitgeist can be difficult to see. The new and innovative doesn’t always mean it will be easier for you to get published, quite the opposite usually.

So what are you going to do as you wait for your standard rejection letter?–that is the most likely outcome awaiting you, resilience, a thick skin and time are essential. When I wrote ‘Hoofing It’ 17 years ago I was one meeting away from it being published, so certain were the publishing house that it was going out they told me to get on with the sequel, which was harder than it sounded as it was set two years in the future (it is not a Science Fiction novel!). Then a ‘no’, ‘not different enough for a first time novel’ and then… nothing. So you can see the line between success and failure is thin, and what makes situations more stressful is when you are not in control of it. Even when your book is published it is no guarantee of success just greater exposure.

But don’t let this put you off. You at least need to try, you never know, [insert your own aphorism here.] You need to try and get an agent, they are the first filter for the publishing houses; they need to believe in your work first. You will find an inventory of these on the web. You need to trawl through them and see which agent/agency best fits your work. Each agency has their own submissions policy, but they are all very similar; covering letter about you and your work, synopsis and a sample, (either the first three chapters or few thousand words). Make sure these are polished and don’t make things up, they will both see through it, and if they don’t, it is not the best start to a mutual relationship. Once your novel is somewhere near finished start writing to agents, as they can take months to get back to you.

Ultimately what most writers are trying to achieve is being able to write full time, even if they are not making a huge amount of money. Being happy is more important than any amount of money [insert another aphorism]. I know professional writers who even now still work part-time–there is very little money in fiction writing, as I have stated earlier.

You at least need to give it a go. Just because one book has been roundly rejected, doesn’t mean the rest will; remember you are only going to get better. This is your first stage. If this is not working−rejection is never nice, which realistically you are looking at. Then you need to self-publish and build from the bottom up.

I will be looking at this next week. But keep believing, if you have gotten as far as writing one book, you have achieved one of the hardest steps, maybe the hardest?

Next week. To thine own self be true: The Confessions of an English self Publisher.

@thewritingIMP

http://www.ianmpindar.com

Ian M Pindar’s latest books, under his real name are: ‘Hoofing It’ and ‘Hoofed,’ the first and second novels in The Robert Knight Series are out now. He has another three novels out this year.

4: Right here goes, in at the deep end. I’m going to write my novel. What should I do first?

07 Friday Feb 2014

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Stop: Are you really ready to start? Once you start and the creative juices flow, you want them to flow until you have your first draft. You are always going to add to it, and the hardest part of all, editing your own work, but once you set off you want to strap yourself in for the ride, you don’t want it to be like going into hyperspace, you want it to be as smooth as you can make it, because it can be torturous enough as it is. Here are 5 things I would strongly advise you have in place before you start.

1)    The plot (idea).

2)    Breakdown of the chapters – if you do not have a sketch of what you want to achieve in each chapter, you run the risk of; writing far too much and going off piste–which you will then have to edit down. The tighter your book is, the less waffle and filler, the better it will be. For example when I wrote the first draft of ‘Hoofing It’ many years ago. I initially wanted the reader to know how the two main characters ‘acquired’ £28,000 pounds – it was flannel and boring to boot. I condensed five chapters down to two paragraphs − A much better punchier start, heart-breaking and a waste of actual writing time though it was, it made me a better writer and I got to cross off 6,000 words from the million!

This is where leaving a book, or any writing, then coming back to it, always improves it. The Stephen King 4-6 weeks in the draw method. I left this novel on a computer disc for 10 years – I would not recommend that!

If you don’t plan it out – how will you know it’s finished? It could go on forever. Two shorter books are better than one massive one–and you’ll make more money and attract more readers.

3)    Have your characters formed before you start. They may evolve slightly, but ask yourself: What is the characters; goals (might be abstract); motivations; conflicts (that might stop them reaching their goals); epiphany or arc; why should I love this person – Or if you are really brave, why should I hate this person and want them to fail!

When you have done that write a one or two page summary of each of the characters story line.

Draw a timeline of events, it is easy to lose track, especially if you are writing your book over a long period of time, in both senses.

If you would like me send you the pro-forma I use, contact me through my website: www.ianmpindar.com

4)    Research. This can take huge amounts of time and is one reason I believe why a lot of fiction writing can be a bit vague on detail. The other reason is a lot of technical detail; unless you are an expert can bore the reader silly and also leaves you open to ridicule from certain ‘train spotters.’ I wrote a modern love story that hung around a sports team that I have supported and watched all my life (Hull RLFC). I thought I knew enough to slide between fiction and non-fiction seamlessly, and give a nod and a wink to my team. I realised quite early on that in the mists of time my memory had not served me as well as I would like to think. I read or partly read 7 books about that club, bear in mind I thought I already knew it all! Double check your research and memory, and not just the lazy option of Wikipedia, it is not always right.

5)    Even if you have not completed all your research, this does not mean you can’t get on with some aspects of your book when your mind spins with ideas. I often write large chunks of dialogue between characters even before I have started, or brief descriptions of places as well as ideas and quotes.

I have another six books planned for the future, even when I am working on other projects I go back to them and jot things down. I have a computer and paper wallet file as central stores. Write ideas down when they come to you, have a smart phone or note book with you at all times. Sometimes it’s just one or two words, if you don’t they will evaporate and become a shimmering mirage of ambiguity.

As Peter Ustinov once said, and a friend said to me as a left the safety of the 9 til 5: “Take your time. To be in a hurry is to kill your talent. If you wish to reach the sun, it isn’t enough to jump impulsively into the air.”  In our busy world that is sometimes hard. But if you need to get going, don’t let the research put you off too much, but at least do some. I assume you are writing about something close to your heart. Read the most important sources then get going if you can’t hold back any longer.

Slip some more content in later, or leave a gap and notes e.g. [[need more detail here]]. You might be waiting for someone to get back to you with information, e.g. permission to use something copyrighted−Avoid copyrighted material.

Right you really are there now; books read, greater idea of the craft sorted, research done, character and plot organised. What are you waiting for? All those articles, short stories, reviews, letters, etc, that you have written over the years have all been practice for this: ‘the big one.’ −The novel you knew you had in you−let it out−emancipate it−Don’t dream it, be it…

Good luck.

@thewritingIMP

Ian M Pindar’s latest books, under his real name are: ‘Hoofing It’ and ‘Hoofed,’ the first and second novels in The Robert Knight Series. He has another three out this year.

Next week: What is the best route to take−Traditional, or self-publish?

3: What should I do before I start? Will passively reading do it?

31 Friday Jan 2014

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3: What should I do before I start? Will passively reading do it?

Right, you’ve read a few hundred books ­− Bare minimum you should be looking at, at least 200. You think you’ve got the grip of it; the plot, the characterisation, the reveal, the measure, the dialogue, the tone, different devises, point-of-view – But have you?, or have you just been reading passively ­− Nothing wrong with reading passively, enjoying a book; being entertained and enthralled. But you have only read it, not really studied it, why might you do that if you don’t have to, you’re not at school, you have a busy life after all. Here’s a simple determinant, when you have finished a book and someone asks you what it was like, if you reply, ‘Yeah, it was good,’ and very little else, you have not thought about it enough – You ain’t going to be an accomplished writer: Readers read. Writers read, and then analyse, simple as.

I was once dragged across to someone at a party and demanded to tell this unknown person how many books I had read in my then life, probably about 350. He had read 10,000! He had been in prison in Britain for a complicated and intriguing political crime. I didn’t feel sorry for him, I felt jealous! He told me he once read three books in one day, banged up for 23 hours ­− I thought I could easily do time! My intermediary, a sparse reader of fiction, laughed when I told him – how many books you have read is completely relative – generally it’s, quality not quantity.

When you have read at least two hundred books, but you know you are the gentle passive reader, if the evaluation of the book has not felt like unarmed combat in your mind. The most important thing you need to do is read about ‘The Craft’ from those that have been bothered to share. There are many of these books, some heavier than others. This is what I suggest you do, well what I did. Read all of these, to start with, in this order:

How Novels Work – John Mullan

The Art of Fiction – David Lodge

Reading Like A Writer – Francine Prose.

If you manage these three and you are still determined, then read some more, but read the type of Authors in the genre you want to write within. If you want to know what Stephen King did at school, read his.

What fiction books should you read? That’s a hard one, but read different genres than those you are intending to write, this will give you more scope and ideas. You have to read some of the masters/masteresses to learn the skills and lineage of good writing, but save this until you really want to! Some of the old dead gezzers wrote some very long books that require a lot of commitment, listen to the learned people around that you know and trust. Join Goodreads or some such similar sight. I still have Joyce’s Ulysses on my shelf – I know it’s shameful, but I’m being honest. Look at the 7 most started but never finished books of all time, Dedalus and Bloom’s ramblings in Dublin in 1904 is third. It is not the content putting me off, it’s the length – I quite like a bit of modern realism. Followed by an argument about synecdoche – if you are not sure what ‘synecdoche’ is, you will after reading about the ‘the craft.’

Once you have leant more about ‘The Craft’ you will not be just looking at the narrative and your empathy to the characters any more. You may well be deconstructing the sentence, and saying this adjective would work much better here – What would Henry James use? Sometimes analysing a single word! But remember you are thinking of embarking on a dangerous path, were you might never see the end over the hill. You might end up like James, spending the last years of your life inserting and removing commas out of your pantheon (22 fiction novels) of work.

So what should you read: Read books that excite you first, if you aren’t getting excited you ain’t going to be a writer, or, you are going to have some very long frustrating days at your keyboard. Then read about the craft, this will inspire you to read the works you need to study. But ignore Francine Prose when she says, read The Corrections by Jonathon Franzen – your life is too short, believe me, and you might be so depressed by the end of the 2,000 pages, (that’s what it felt like anyway), it will put you off reading a book longer than 400 pages ever again in your life-time! I suspect Prose and Franzen are close friends, or he is holding her hostage in his basement? (The arts are subjective!) Once you have read some of the craft and lots of books, what are you waiting for; you are starting on the road to enlightenment and/or angst. Not until you start writing will you improve – remember you are aiming for a million words just as a start!! You will then realise about some of the intricacies that even the ‘craft sharers’ neglected, or thought too trivial to mention. Do I use a dash, comma, semicolon, hyphen or ellipses? Should I use “” or ‘’ speech marks for direct speech and vice versa for indirect speech? Or should I pretend to be Cormac McCarthy writing The Road and not bother? Etc, etc.

So just to recap: Don’t even think about wanting to be a fiction writer unless you are inspired, excited enough to give yourself a push, well read, understand some of ‘the  craft’ and then dedicated to the point of OCD.

If someone asked you the question: How many books do you want to read? If the answer is not somewhere between hundreds and thousands – you ain’t got the fervour to be as good as you want to be.

Next week: Right here goes, in at the deep end. I’m going to write my novel. What should I do first?

www.ianmpindar.com  @thewritingIMP

Ian M Pindar’s latest books, under his real name are: ‘Hoofing It’ and ‘Hoofed,’ the first and second novels in The Robert Knight Series.

2: Why even bother to write? A lot of pain, for very little gain.

24 Friday Jan 2014

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2: Why even bother to write? A lot of pain, for very little gain.

Quite simply: because you love it. If you don’t, give up now, no one will think any less of you, most won’t know and those you told about your ‘dream’ will have soon forgotten. Once you have ticked the first box, then ask yourself (again) why do I want to write? Here’s why I do it: I want to tell interesting stories that entertain, educate and have soul. Which is the same as saying; writing books that I would love to read. You may have a different agenda; knowledge, make sense of the world, sharing, escape, self-help, leaving a legacy (in case they don’t name a day after you or build a statue – more men this!) literary skill advancement – which may well, just be maintenance, rather than any advance. I could go on, everyone’s different, but, it doesn’t matter what it is, make sure you have an answer, because someone will ask you.

George Orwell said one reason people write is for egotism, some definitely do, but less these days, and again this is more a man-thing. Think about writers that you have heard bragging, nearly all men. So from that point of view Orwell was right. I write like a lot of others because I have something to say, or at least I think I do, and that is part of the belief and confidence you need.

Make sure you have something you want to say. And make sure that something excites you, that falls together at some point in the body of your writing and you feel a mini epiphany. If you don’t feel it, why should anyone else? If you don’t feel it, if you are never going to feel it, don’t bother, go shopping, watch a sports match, watch crappy tele. Be prepared to feel the pain and elation of your characters. I was working on the final instalment in a trilogy of books, 450,000 words in, tears were running down my cheeks and my wife was concerned for my mental health. (“Suffering is only intolerable if nobody cares!” – Cicely Saunder.)

“God, what’s wrong, has someone died?”

“Yeah, in my book!”

“Oh, right. I thought someone had really died!”

Imagine a book that has made you cry, maybe for the first time ever. Mine was: Unbearable Likeness of Being – Milan Kundera, when the dog dies – I don’t even like dogs that much. That is when a light goes on, and you think with greater clarity. I want to be able to do that! Well, now try and imagine that you have lived within a main character, walked in their shoes, thought like them, behaved like them, slept like them, eaten like them, had sex like them. If you are brave enough, you have the power to kill them off, even though you want them to live desperately, you might even lay down your life for them, because they are better people than you! When they die, you cry, but they have to die because in real life people we love die, and you are now not just a writer, you are a healer, you are showing other people they are not alone, if you so choose? You are no longer looking in at the words; you are looking out from the character.

But when you have based a character on someone dear to you that you loved and they die, your loved one dies again, not as bad as the first time (hopefully!), but you have not only written about it and cried, you have to go back and edit it, and you know with almost certainty you will cry again, even though you have told yourself otherwise! – can you deal with that? Can you really? Now you can start to see why some writers are so tortured!

So do you still want to be a fiction writer? If you do, stick close, we might just get through this together – might?

Next week: What should I do before I start? Will passively reading lots of books do it?

thewritingIMP