Monthly Archives: May 2014

19: 50 (20-18) mistakes of the fledgling fiction writer.

30 Friday May 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

20-18: The countdown continues to the biggest blundersto help you avoid them.

Image

‘He was a lame duck. Not a metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a landmine or something.’ − Pretty much universally agreed to be the greatest ‘comedic metaphoric trio-sentence’ of all time in English Literature, although the author was then an unknown American High School student−If they are not writing films for Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell and Zac Efron I’ll be a monkey’s genetic aunty…

 

20 Too many similes and metaphors. The simple rule is similar to ‘ly’ adjectives and adverbs, don’t use too many of them, and make sure the ones you use fit with the narrative. Similes liken things and metaphors compare two things that not literally the same. The reason you should not overuse them is because as the writer your role is to describe setting, emotions, place, action, and to rely on similes and metaphors is both lazy and will not be as interesting for the reader. You can also stray into the territory of cliché, something to be actively avoided. It is something to look out for when you are reading, (along with everything else!) − all authors use them, but they use them within context and character. If you don’t it will shift the tone and verisimilitude and although the character may not be saying it directly, they would never say it. It is hard to come up with new similes and metaphors, but a good device to use is to relate it to something already covered within the story, that way it is how the character is not only likely to think, but how they would speak. If in doubt, leave them out. This site sums it up succinctly http://www.novelpublicity.com/2012/03/ask-the-editor-how-often-should-similes-and-metaphors-be-used-in-fiction-is-it-possible-to-rely-on-them-too-much/

Simile: He wrote his blog like he wrote his shopping lists; numbered and in too much detail!   [‘as if’ can often be used instead of ‘like’.]

Metaphor: Writing a blog is like juggling with cold invisible words, until they heat up and appear.  

I challenge you to go to this site: http://kcbx.net/~tellswor/hsmetaph.htm  and read these High School metaphors used in essays without laughing. Tears fell from my eyes like wet wontons filled with a mixture of 65% Dead Sea seawater and 35% wallpaper paste that had been microwaved for half a minute.

Similes root your book in the real, and metaphor allude to the something less so. Do you want more realism or less?

 

19 Not accepting criticism, thinking you know best−you are just starting out! Be centred, take a deep breath and accept it with grace, the other people are only trying to help−honestly! I used to attend one Writers’ Group where two members could be quite scaving with their critiques of others’ endeavours. There was truth in their comments, but a little more tact and emphasis on the positive would have gone a long way. It is a steep learning curve, but they would have reached the same goal with kinder words and an arm around their shoulders.

Listen to the advice, you don’t have to take it, but ask for points to be qualified and quantified (against established writers), ask a critical friend if they think the same, or can at least see their point of view clearer than you can at present. I think one of the problems along with all the many aspects of the doubt the art can throw at you, is the fact you have made time to sit down and produced something you thought was good enough. By people pointing out it might not be, you will have to either re-write or start that part again. Try not to get too disheartened, it will get easier, if only marginally! As we all know, and as I have stated before, a book is never really finished, but you have to let it go at some point. This is why you often have to wait 10-12 years for some authors to produce their next eagerly anticipated work. (Donna Tart’s The Goldfinch, 11 years: Jonathan Franzen, 9 years; 22 years between John Updike’s Eastwick Witches tales and 400 years between The Old and New Testament! –How long to New New Testament 2.1?−just don’t hold your breath!)

Having the confidence to believe you can do it will get you over half the way there. But the remaining part will require reading, studying and listening to people that know more than you do!  

 

18 Too many adverbs (and adjectives) added to describe direct speech. This is a common mistake of the novice writer, if we think back to the ‘ly’ overuse adjective and adverb rule, you will not go far wrong by using them very sparingly. If you are describing how the character is saying their words out load and with what emotion, it is unnecessary and will jar on the experienced reader. Show don’t tell, is another good rule to remember here. There are obviously times when you want to describe some emotion or mannerism or associated action, but if your characters are clearly defined, the reader will have a strong idea who is speaking. Most writers do very little describing of direct speech, the reader is intelligent enough to work it out.

 

“I don’t love you any more, Trisha.” He said emotionally, the mouse shaking in his hand.

“I don’t care Tarquin, I still love you.” She replied, extremely amazed and shocked.

“I owe it to you be honest, after seven years together.” He stuck determinedly to his pre-rehearsed script.

“What is she called, this other woman. Come on, tell me?” Trisha forced the words out stoically, before the floodgates opened.

“It’s not a she, it’s, it’s−”  Tarquin stalled cowardly.

“Come on, tell me?” She interrupted assertively.

“It’s not a she, it’s, it’s… my computer. We are to be wed on a beach in Hawaii next week. I know you’ll find this hard to take, but as we’ve grown apart, Commy, sorry, that’s what I call her, Commy and I have grown closer.” He eventually uttered.

Wrong on so many levels! It makes the point. We know who is speaking, there are only two of them, they are doing enough telling for you not to have to show−If I’m not here next week I am writing a modern Mills and Boon novella.

The difficulty comes when you have more than two characters in a scene, then you will have to delineate between whoever is speaking. This is a real skill without slowing the dialogue down and making it clunky. The ballroom scene in Anna Karenina is a good place to see how it is done well.    

 

‘He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at High Schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.’ – And this is just a funny ‘single’ sentence by a High School kid who now writes exclusively for Seth Rogan.

Image

 

@thewritingIMP   www.ianmpindar.com

Ian M Pindar’s latest books, under his real name are: ‘Hoofing It’ and ‘Hoofed,’ the first and second novels in The Robert Knight Series and are on special offer http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Ian+M+Pindar 

He has another three novels out this year.

Advertisements

18: 50 (23-21) mistakes of the fledgling fiction writer.

23 Friday May 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

23-21: The countdown continues to the biggest blunders to help you avoid them.

 

Image

 

When our children were young, Monday night was dubbed: ‘Afghanistan Night’ by our son, as it was ‘tele-ban’ night. All screens were banished on this single night, with the exception of last, last minute homework. Life slowed down, we talked, played board games, stood around the piano singing show tunes like extras from ‘It’s a Wonderful Life.’ Ok, I made the last one up. What we also did was read; Harry Potter, Stormbreaker, Clarice Bean and Hairy Maclary (from Donaldson’s Dairy), displacing World of Warcraft, Fifa, Halo, Facebook and Simcity.

I could go on about the benefits of this night, but they were many fold. It taught them the love of reading as an option and an alternative; it also taught them why it is important to read, something that has stayed with them. They have moved more towards their gender stereotypes: fiction for my daughter and non-fiction for my son. (Males and females really are wired differently!) But if you were to ask them why they read? They would smile at you, thinking you were extracting the proverbial! I will let Bill Hicks sum it up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtyGY_o0Vx8 If anyone asks you why you’re reading, don’t say: ‘I read for the sheer majesty of being allowed to visit inside someone’s head, to travel in their imagination to places I would otherwise probably never visit, to emphasis and understand the world and the people therein better, to grow intellectually as well as soaring enjoyment and entertainment.’ No, Just say, ‘I want to be a better writer,’ and then, make time to write.

 

23 Wrong tone/unbelievability. Literary types often call this verisimilitude (Latin verum meaning truth and similis meaning similar). You may think it is obvious if your narrative appears realistic. If you stick to the old adage of writing about what you know, you should have no problem. If you are writing dialogue and place, both of which you have never encountered in real life, there is a good chance you may get it wrong. Stick to what you know to start with, there is a lot to master without complicating things any further. If your narrative/characters/dialogue is not believable people will be either put off or give up on your novel. Dialogue has to be realistic and tight. In reality people may say ‘erm’ and ‘uhm’ but unless you really want to over-emphasis a lack of confidence or education within a character, leave it out. You can use dialogue to emphasis many things; differing emotions, foreignness, class, lack of education−Graham Swift does the last two well in Last Orders with an ensemble of working class characters. This is where lots of reading is essential and as many eyes as possible looking over your work. I have emphasised the importance of a writers’ group before, a reading group will not go amiss either, but not in place of the former, if several members of the group are saying: ‘Would that character really say that?’ or ‘Is that realistic?’ You would be foolish not to even consider revising it. Sometimes I think it is a question, especially with experience, of ‘thin-slicing’ − that gut feeling of it being right, if you ain’t getting it, more than likely it isn’t right.    

 

22 Not making enough time–this is not the same as motivation. We are talking frustration, when you’re chomping at the bit and life is getting in the way. When I wrote my first two books, I was working a full time job, two young children and all the rest. I gave up what I would call ‘crap tele’. I was recently flicking through the channels and there were three programmes about people at work (call centre (the mills of the twenty-first century), airline staff and sewage workers). Would you go to work with these people, especial the latter, and look over their shoulder for the day/s – course you wouldn’t. There are much worse programmes than these and other greater distractions that will suck your time away from you: social media and computer games! If you want to be a writer set time aside to write, or at least read. This can require great personal discipline and if you are serious about finishing your novel before it is a lingering regret on your deathbed, switch the idiot box off.   

 

21 Write notes continually. ‘Seldom as an idea that has come to me in bed, in the middle of the night been a bad one.’ I read this in a newspaper many years ago and have no idea who said it. I am never without something to record notes/ideas/description of places/information/quotes/single words as I travail through life.  My epiphany came on a road in Manchester, not the Middle East, it was the start of the school term, I was listening to Radio 4 and an idea for a new book came to me. I pulled the car over and wrote several pages of fast scribbled notes in a small notepad. I knew that it was not just the idea, but also the fact I was rested, relaxed, creative and inspired after the long summer holiday. Once the hubbub, the physical, mental and emotion toil of teaching (league tables, challenge, progress, admin, assessment, meetings, training, etc, etc, started), I would not be this creative−I wasn’t making the same journey the year after! Take time to think, blue-sky metacognition−or whatever you want to call it.   

Sometimes it’s just a word. Seamus Heaney had just died and I read some of his poetry, as soon as I saw the single word ‘clenched’, I knew I had to slip it into my latest book. Just say it aloud, ‘clenched’ it is more than a single word, it spans a range of emotions, you feel clenched, so do your creasing stomach muscles, as you utter it!

I find dialogue the easiest aspect of writing. I often write the ‘raw’ dialogue between characters even before I start any other aspect of the book. If the characters are swirling around in your head and you are imagining what they are saying to each other, write it down−you will forget it, especially the detail. The book I have just completed (The Space Between the Notes), I wrote 25 pages of dialogue over two years (only write on one side, then you can spread them out and decide on the order much easier), I already had the characters from the two previous books, so not as difficult as it sounds.

There is no excuse with smartphones to lose anything. I have talked about organisation before. I have paper wallet folders, computer folders and email folders (the latter backs up my files, the chances of Hotmail going down are quite slim!). I often text or email ideas to myself, but have never used the voice recorder, and then from there put it into the correct folder/project. Even if it just a single word or maybe two, record them, or they will evaporate and become a shimmering mirage of ambiguity.  

 

The Taliban have introduced a much longer ban on screens than our Monday night one of the past, the problem being, 82% of them are illiterate! If we all sent them a copy of ‘Hairy Maclary (from Donaldson’s Diary) with a message of love and hope inside, the word will be a much, much, better place to live: ‘hearts and minds, hearts and minds!’

 

@thewritingIMP   www.ianmpindar.com

Ian M Pindar’s latest books, under his real name are: ‘Hoofing It’ and ‘Hoofed,’ the first and second novels in The Robert Knight Series and are on special offer http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Ian+M+Pindar  He has another three novels out this year.

17: 50 (25-24) mistakes of the fledgling fiction writer.

16 Friday May 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

17: 50 (25-24) mistakes of the fledgling fiction writer.

 

25-24: The weekly countdown continues to the biggest blunders to help you avoid them.

You have to sell yourself−even if you get a publishing deal, you will have to do this anyway, and lots of it. As you are waiting for those rejection letters to finish off papering your toilet, you need to start down the other path−self publishing. It is no longer just a vanity project; it is a legitimate way into a publishing deal and a fulfilling way to earn passive income. If you have managed to get thousands of people to like, potentially read, read, write reviews−you already have an audience.

 

25 Self-publishing is not a new innovation, Laurence Sterne−Tristram Shandy (1759), The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by Frank L Baum (1900). More recently Wool by Hugh Howey (2011) and you may have heard of the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy by E.L. James! − Which has now sold more copies on Amazon than Harry Potter! The list is endless, and one thing is for certain, if you don’t get it out there to the world to see, you have no chance.

Remember whatever self-publisher you use, you own the rights. So which one should you use? The obvious elephant in the room is Amazon, and I know a lot of people, especially in Britain don’t like to buy anything from Amazon, not even a ‘Will I Am’ facemask or a multiple Edwardian moustache kit−but they are the biggest platform and potentially give you a larger market. Their publishing arm, CreateSpace is relatively straightforward to use. You can do it yourself, or you pay them to do it in-house. I have used them twice and intend to use them at least one more time. Rather than get them to do it−I could have quite easily done it myself, I pay a friend, as it saves me huge amounts of time. If you are on a tight budget and you intend to put lots of work out, spend the time learning. One drawback for many people outside the US is an ITIN (International Tax Identification Number). You need this from The IRS or you will pay tax there and in your home country. To get this you need to send your passport off, and it can take 4-6 weeks, so you don’t want to be doing this when you are going abroad on holiday−Do this before your book is completely ready. I always produce hard copies and turn these into ebooks, you might only want the latter.

You decide what contract you sign. I won’t go into all these, but they are quite straightforward. You obviously don’t have to use Amazon; there are many others out there. Some of the ones I have heard good reports about are; Smashwords and Lulu. Others include Blurb and Authorhouse. A long time ago when I had very heavy work commitments I used Xlibris. Personally I found them expensive−remember everything you get them to do will cost you, including changing a few typos that were pointed out to me by readers. I also found they hassled me with phone calls a lot, to the stage I pretended to be out!

Googlebooks is on the rise and has fewer books listed than Amazon, so a search is more likely to find your book, but obviously not as much traffic as the Amazon Behemoth. 

I could go into a lot more detail, but to be honest it’s a bit boring and trainspottery−you’ve got the idea, it just boils down to some research and finding what best fits you. Ask yourself, ultimately what is your aim? That will determine to large extent which is the best for you.  

If you have written your book and you are happy with it, get it out there. I read some research the other day that said 95% of people that self-publish feel a sense of pride and achievement for getting to the final stage−what are the other 5% feeling, let’s hope it is no worse than indifference! Even if down the line you are not 100% happy, like Philip Pullman with his first book, you can always take it down and revamp it. At some point you do need to let it go and get it out, because a book is never finished, Henry James is testament to that… But, holding it in your hand, smelling it, touching it, taking it to bed−might just be the inspiration you need to climb the next mountain!

 

24 Social media:

 

“We don’t have a choice on whether we do social media; the question is how well we do it?” -Erick Qualman, author of Socialnomics.

“A brand is no longer what we tell the consumer – it is what the consumers tell each other it is.” Scott Cook, co-founder of Intuit.

 

These three quotes sum up all you need to know and get your head around with social media.

 

The two questions I get asked most by people starting out in writing are not actually about writing: 1.How do I publicise my work to get sales? 2. How do I use social media effectively?

More so by older writers which are new to social media. The six which I use the most, and restrict myself to, are, in this order; Twitter, Goodreads, Google (Blogger & Blogspot), WordPress, LibraryThing and Facebook. There are many, many more obviously. I have website as well.

Twitter was one of the last for me to engage in, even though lots of friends badgered me to join. I knew it would be another activity that could take up huge amounts of my time. It’s also the one I find certain people still most reluctant to sign-up to. Their main fear is: ‘I don’t want to talk inane drivel, tell people my diet through photographic evidence or when I went to the toilet!’ This may sound risible but I can assure you it’s a true anxiety−the mundane ‘flash-tell’ of your life in 140 characters. The big mistake I made was not fully understanding the basics before I joined and consequently when people followed me−I did not reciprocate−big mistake, you want as much traffic to your feed as possible. If you don’t they will unfollow you pretty quickly, it can be a nihilistic world sometimes−but remember lots of people are on twitter for exactly the same reason as you−to raise their profile, connections and sales.

How are you going to connect to people? You need to use # for key words e.g. #writing #reading #illuminatinghalloweensocks, this will direct your tweet to those areas and @ for specific addresses e.g. @thewritingIMP @b0ringtweets (Which is an amusing ironic site that highlights some of the aforementioned drivel that some fear). When I started following this site 13K followed him, now he has 200K. Which just shows; there’s nothing better than a personal recommendation! 

Buffering−not something you might find in Lars Von Trier film (well you might!). But a way of staggering your tweets over a few days, so Twitter does not take over all your waking hours. There are many of these, they are quite straightforward to use and you just feed them directly into your own twitter address. This is also useful because if you consider Twitter to be like walking down a High Street, and every window to be an individual tweet, you not only have to be passing the shops to look in, but you have to actually look in as well. Not everybody will be walking past your shop continually. Buffering is also great for exposure in foreign countries−tweet while you sleep.

Don’t just bombard people with pleads to buy your work, they will tire of you very quickly. One thing I did that has gone down well is quotes from the two books I have put out recently in my own name; these are often re-tweeted by others. Re-tweet interesting stuff you read, put links into other sites about anything you find compelling. Attach photos to your tweets−research shows people are much more likely to notice them. Do not feel the compulsion to tweet incessantly; you are not a 24-hour news agency! Excessive Tweeting Syndrome (ETS) is not a psychologically recognised syndrome yet, but it will be, and you heard it here first at: @thewritingIMP #ETSETS! Don’t buy bundles of thousands of followers for a few dollars, unless you want thousands of virtual reality followers in a computer office in the Philippines! Build slowly by following people you are genuinely interested in, and vice versa.

There are many plug-ins, upgrades and apps you can buy that will assist you, but do some research before you shell out any money−I advise you buy an advanced buffer app. There are many Kindle accessories ‘to boost your sales.’ If they sound too good to be true… well, they are.

I have a friend who runs the media for the Sharp Project (@sharpproject) in Manchester, England, which is like a mini BBC with associated small start-up technology companies. He was telling me that when he first engaged with twitter for many months they only had about 200 follows and the number stubbornly did not move, within a couple of weeks they had jumped to 3K, and from this several substantial contacts were obtained.

Social media reminds me of that Malcolm Gladwell book ‘Blink.’ The third chapter is about a car salesman who never dismisses people due to their appearance. He gets a yearly sale of a Lexus to a farmer, that initially turned up scrofulous and unkempt, other salespeople were not interested in the agriculturalist! You never know where the break you need might come from. From this blog last week I was contacted for an interview from a much bigger blog. Don’t make the mistake I made initially and turn down any exposure because you are too busy writing.

Goodreads, were you are probably reading this now−so there is little mileage explaining to the converted. For a writer this is the best site by a long way; sales, exposure, contact, friends, blog, giveaways, flags, comments, book recommendations, fans and much more. You need to be on here and visible.  

Google sites: The main reason you need to be on here is there is an enormous algorithmic monster in a stalactited server-cave somewhere under Iceland that is putting everything whizzing around on the inter-web through its consciousness−it feeds of it and gets bigger by the second. You need to be as high up on the Google search to get exposure. Two important rules are, produce at least 300 words and add as many relevant tags. Even if not that many people view your work there you are rising up the Goggle rankings, and keeping the all-seeing lonely monster alive.

WordPress I do because it offers more applications, especially for statistics. As you are aware there are many other sites, which you may prefer. But Goodreads and Google should be top of your list.

LibraryThing I use for ebook givaways (Goodreads for hard copies), again there are many of these friendly helpful sites. The advantage of giving ebooks away is it will save you a lot of money when you are trying to get reviews. People often prefer a pdf version of books, so that costs you absolutely nothing.  This site offers an Author profile as well.

Facebook: I am not a big fan of Facebook. I don’t do much on this site, but feed other sites into it. You may have a differing view; I know a lot of authors (and artists) love it. I have my own personal Facebook, which I avoid as much as possible as it can suck precious time away.−“Distracted from distraction by distraction” as T S Eliot once said as he was being distracted.  

 

You have to play the percentages game when it comes to the Social Mediarati. There are four main factors that are going to put you off more productive writing; time−finding enough of it, rejection from publishing houses (no one likes rejection however resilient they claim to be), The Critical Devil eating away at you−the little destructive bastard, and social media. Great if you love it, some people love selling themselves and their work, and not just the nihilistic. It can be hard work coming up with new innovative ways to do this, but remember if you are doing social media you are not writing your next great opus−find a happy balance.

Books are word of mouth. Ask yourself, how many times have you read a review and then gone out and purchased that book? Now, compare that to a close friend raving about a book. That’s why you have to start small and build, and that’s why you have to make social media your friend!

 

I apologise for this weeks’ long blog, but I wanted to get the social media stuff out of the way over just one week. If you feel like you have been on a busman’s holiday while sucking eggs with your grandma next to you, as you sightsee in your own neighbourhood−apologies once again−if that is you, you will have no problems with the medium. When I reluctantly started out on Twitter I asked my tech-savvy friends the most moronic questions−hopefully this has answered some of them for the novices, at least given you a gentle nudge−you will need to do some research, there is plenty of information out there−you soon get the hang of it. For Twitter substitute nearly all social media.

On a personal note, I really don’t want to see you with a picture of your cat/s. It’s great you have one, but if I want to see it, I’ll ask. Why not share a photo of yourself, even if you are just auditioning for the next Catfish series!  

Well done for getting this far, the sticker and Edwardian moustache kit are in the post.

@thewritingIMP   www.ianmpindar.com

Ian M Pindar’s latest books, under his real name are: ‘Hoofing It’ and ‘Hoofed,’ the first and second novels in The Robert Knight Series and are on special offer http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Ian+M+Pindar  He has another three novels out this year. 

16: 50 (28-26) mistakes of the fledgling fiction writer.

09 Friday May 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

28-26: The weekly countdown continues to the biggest blunder to help you avoid them.

Image

No pre-amble this week. Get your metaphorical sleeves rolled up and get your Google spying glasses on… Reet, lads and lasses.  

28  Design/layout. Might seem a strange one to throw in, but the front cover can take a lot of time to complete. DO NOT do it yourself to save money, unless you are particularly skilled in art/graphic design. Your cover is the initial thing the potential reader will observe; you need one that will grab their attention. I purchased a painting from a Scottish based artist−Scott Carruthers a few years ago (http://www.scottcarruthers.co.uk/) which I had seen in a gallery in St Andrews, I loved it and grabbed my attention immediately. Which is a slight lie, I went away and thought about it and bought it two days later. I then speculatively contacted Scott to see if he would be interested in painting the covers for all three novels in my Robert Knight trilogy, he was keen. From the initial contact to the actual painting arriving took almost three years. If you want to know how much the painting cost and more about the story of the art go to my website: http://www.ianmpindar.com/inspirations.html It can take an artist a long time to complete a project, especially when they have many other better paid commissions pending. I only paid Scott for the materials and postage, but it was a win/win for both of us. Eventually he will paint all three covers. We have been going backwards and forwards with the final cover for five months already. Remember, as I have said before, people have busy lives’ and what might be a priority for you, might not be for them. It will not do you any harm to get ideas and the possible final cover completed early. When I started, I did try and produce covers myself and they looked like the work of an overconfident seven year old. I also use a graphic designer (j_f_keane@hotmail.com). Some things are best farmed out, don’t try and do everything yourself, time is precious.     

 

27 Too many ly adjectives and adverbs. It is not good writing to use ‘lys’, of course if you read any novel you will find them, but great writing rarely does. It’s lazy and shows a lack of control. If the ‘radio rattled loudly’ we do not need the loudly, it is obvious the radio is on making a lot of noise. Stephen King used to comb through his work and take out virtually all the ‘lys’. Gabriel Garcia Marquez rarely ever used them. Substitute action verbs for ‘ly’ adjectives, for example ‘he punched forcefully’ How else would you punch, take the forcefully out. ‘Lys’ equal bad fiction writing, put ‘ly’ in your document finder and when you hit one, be 100% sure you need it, lots of writers will argue you do, but they are either lying or deluded, or both. Simple rule: one per page on average, but G G Marquez will be shaking his head from side to side if he was still around! This is a good site to have a look at: http://www.columbia.edu/itc/journalism/isaacs/client_edit/Verbs.html

If you are sending your work off to a publisher and claiming it to be a literary prose, if the pages are splattered with ‘lys’ the chances of them doing any more than skim-reading it are slim. Be ruthless. You can leave some in direct speech because people speak in ‘lys.’ “Hopefully I will get around to reading One Hundred Years of Solitude before the book group next Tuesday.” Remember to make your tone and verisimilitude (plausibility) realistic.

26 Movement in both, time, place and pace, use these as both a device and a way of keeping your reader engaged, use it to build to a climax or show emotion/boredom/ excitement. Don’t make it so complicated you confuse yourself, never mind the poor reader! It you are feeling really brave and thinking you have part mastered a lot of the craft. You might want to have a look at iambics, used more in poetry. Shakespeare used iambic pentameters in his sonnets (shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?). These will make your story flow better, but whether starting out or well on the journey, they can also make you pull your hair out to achieve perfection and volume. Apparently Ford Maddox Ford approved D H Lawrence’s first ever story for publication by just reading the first line of ‘The Odour of Chrysanthemums’, because of the rhythm and flow of the first line: ‘What we talk about when we talk about flow.’ The stress on the different syllables and the sonic undulation of the unaccented and accented syllables in the sentence is quite poetic, ‘as that is what it is my good friend.’ If it has scared you slightly, don’t worry, it has scared me as well!

Kipling is useful to look at for repetition; normally you want to avoid repeating words in close proximity, Kipling uses it brilliant to represent the onomatopoeic rhythmic monotony of marching:

We’re foot−slog−slog−slog−sloggin’ over Africa−

Foot−foot−foot−foot−sloggin’ over Africa

He also uses repetition in his most famous of poems, ‘If’− the one they used to make pupils learn at school, regardless of sex!

I emphasis this here to show that although fledglings, there are always other levels we can all aspire to. You should be reading poetry; the iambic structures of sentences maybe a step too far at the moment. Look at poetry for great descriptions of both emotions and the physical. Look at poetry for single words you feel restless until you have slipped it into your novel somewhere. Look at poetry for inspiration. Look the other way from poetry when the poet uses ‘lys’, as they have little time, and the novel writer has plenty. If you LOOK… you’ll be a writer one day my son (and daughter)!

I got a bit carried away with poetry this week, other poets are available.  

 

Did you know: Rudyard Kipling got his first name because of Rudyard Lake (actually a reservoir) in Staffordshire (UK) where his parents first met on a day trip? By that reckoning my first-born shouldbe Manchester University Students’ Union! –but the iambics were all wrong!

 @thewritingIMP   www.ianmpindar.com

Ian M Pindar’s latest books, under his real name are: ‘Hoofing It’ and ‘Hoofed,’ the first and second novels in The Robert Knight Series and are on special offer http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Ian+M+Pindar  He has another three novels out this year.

15: 50 (30-29) mistakes of the fledgling fiction writer.

02 Friday May 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

30-29: The countdown continues to the biggest blunders−to help you avoid them.

 blocklinecol3 (6)

When I finished University, before I went off Teacher Training I fitted kitchens for a year with my cousin (and read a lot of books). We did one job at a very large B&Q showroom (a British DIY chain). It was my job to tile and grout 26 show kitchens. In this particular store in the staff toilets was a large full-length mirror with the company design and logo running around it. At the top it had a large signage that reminded you, as if you needed reminding: ‘This is how the customer sees you.’ To which I normally stuck two fingers up−none of us like authority, especially supercilious annoying authority!  At the side it had a ridiculous aphorism: ‘Fail to plan, plan to fail.’ I always wondered what strategic planning the staff should be undertaking while in the lavatory. What scenarios they might be running through their heads as a more efficient response to customer enquiries. “Do you have a size 6 sprocket drilling gizmonator spring-loaded recess valve?” “Yes, Isle 4, section 3, bottom shelf!” [Response time 0.18 seconds−a record!]

However ridiculous the aphorism was, and however much we might kick against the idea of been told what to do, it is true, even if someone says it to you, and you have the overwhelming desire to punch them in the face. If you haven’t already, you are about to undertake a massive task−writing your first book, it takes a lot of meticulous planning, if you think it doesn’t, you are deluding yourself. That is before you have read many books and learnt lots of the craft. Let’s carry on the countdown…

 

30 Lack of planning: Rambling, not tight enough writing (and planning). You will occasionally hear experienced writers saying that they do not plan their books; they have a basic premise and story line. “I love writing so much because when I sit down to write I have no idea where the characters and story will take me. I become lost in the words.” I suspect two things when I hear or read such comments, firstly their writing will not be as good as it could be, and secondly, they belong to an older generation of writers. I couldn’t do that, nearly all writers don’t do that, and you shouldn’t do that either. If you do your book will ramble, be longer than it needs to be−less is definitely more. Write an outline of the entire story, and then break it down into chapters. If the story moves through time, draw a timeline and mark on all significant events. Remember words should be used sparingly and any waffle and spuriousness needs cutting out. Of course ideas and improvements will occur as you are writing, but adhere to what each chapter is supposed to achieve. Try hard to leave the reader wanting to read on. It sounds like simple common sense, but it is amazing how many people don’t do it.

 

29 Formulate characters and motivations beforehand: There are two main aspects of your book that the will linger with the reader−the slow burn. That is the narrative; even now you remember the story outline of the children’s books you loved/love. You ask any child or grown-up: ‘What happens in Dickens’ A Christmas Carol?’ They will be able to tell you, in quite a lot of detail. For two reasons, the story and the aspects of it are one of the best story lines of all time, and the other is because of brilliant characters, that form almost instantly. If you don’t know the meaning of redemption before you ever encounter this work, you do by the end.

 

Have your characters formed before you start. They may evolve slightly, but ask yourself, what are the characters; goals (might be abstract); motivations; conflicts (that might stop them reaching their goals); epiphany or arc; why should I love this person – Or if you are really brave, why should I hate this person and want them to fail! Does the main protagonist/s have flaws, or even a fatal flaw (hamartia). When you have done that write a one or two page summary of each of the characters story line. Your characters, especially main protagonist, and possibly antagonist are paramount for the success of your novel. This is essential, and even more so if you are going to write a sequel/s. You will forget the birthdays/wedding date/anniversaries/schools attended/names of friends and relatives/likes/dislikes etc. I always do this on a set pro-forma for each main character. If you would like to have a look at the one I use, contact me.

 

After two weeks working at B&Q, the last four days constantly grouting and looking as though I had just emerged from a cement mixer situated at the end of a worm-hole−‘wax on, wax bloody off!’ The manager said to my cousin.

“The tiling monkey’s done a good job.”

“Oh, he’s not really a tiling monkey; he’s just doing this until he goes off to train to be a Teacher.”

“Yeah, right.”

“No he is, he’s bright. Ian come over here, we want a word with you.”

I walked over and my cousin reiterated the conversation for my benefit. I looked at the manager, who I had fermented a mild distain towards over half a month and replied.

“Ooh-ooh-aah-aah-ah”, and then walked off to look at myself in the mirror. I didn’t give a monkey’s cuss how the customer saw me! I’d served my time.

When you are a writer every new first-hand experience is a valuable opportunity to learn something valuable−more grist for the mill… but some experiences don’t have to be repeated!

 

@thewritingIMP   www.ianmpindar.com

Ian M Pindar’s latest books, under his real name are: ‘Hoofing It’ and ‘Hoofed,’ the first and second novels in The Robert Knight Series and are on special offer http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Ian+M+Pindar . He has another three novels out this year.